I’m Not on a Diet. I’m Just Tired of Feeling Like Wet Trash.

Affordable, ADHD-friendly meals that require almost zero brain cells.

I’m not here to give you a diet plan. I’m not here to talk about macros, or carbs, or whether you should intermittent fast like a Silicon Valley bro.

I’m just here to say this:

I’m tired of feeling like garbage.

If I eat like shit for more than a day, I feel like shit for the rest of the week. My joints ache. My brain fogs over. I’m too busy to be bogged down.

So instead of trying to eat “clean” (what does that even mean??), I’m just eating like a person who doesn’t need a carb coma nap after every lunch.

Let’s talk about the foods I make when I’m trying to get my shit together, but barely.

Grocery shopping on a budget (AKA my $120 Aldi haul)

First of all, you do not need to shop at WholeFoods unless you want your wallet to cry. I go to Aldi, spend about $120 for two people, and walk out with enough food for a week. No couponing. Just lots of sauces and whole foods.

Here’s what I always grab:

• Salmon, chicken, and maybe steak if it’s on sale

• Frozen veggies: broccoli, stir-fry blend, peas

• Sweet potatoes, onions, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes

• Rice packs (the 90-second microwave kind)

• Avocados, bananas, lettuce (butter or shredded)

• Eggs, feta, pickled onions, Splenda, peanut butter

• Some kind of fun snack so I don’t feel deprived (hi, dark chocolate sea salt caramels)

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Easy meals that won’t ruin your life

Here’s what I make the first week when I’m trying to be healthy. These aren’t “recipes.” These are loose suggestions from someone who is barely holding it together but still wants dinner to taste good.

Just be sure to make A LOT so you have plenty of leftovers for those lazy days.

1. Salmon, Sweet Potatoes & Brussel Sprouts

Effort Level: Extremely Low

1. Grab your salmon filets (fresh or frozen, no judgment), rub them down with olive oil, garlic salt, and lemon juice.

2. Chop your sweet potatoes into chunks, toss with olive oil, salt, pepper, and paprika if you're spicy.

3. Brussels sprouts: halve them, toss with oil, salt, and a little balsamic if you're feeling yourself.

4. Line a sheet pan with foil or parchment (because dishes suck), spread everything out, and bake at 400°F for 25–30 minutes.

5. That’s it. No flipping. No sautéing. Just a timer.

2. Lazy Chicken Stir-Fry

Effort Level: One pan and a dream

1. Use frozen chicken breasts or thighs. Defrost in the microwave or just roast in the oven at 400°F for 25–30 minutes with a little oil and salt. Chop after.

2. While that’s happening, throw your fresh or frozen veggies into a skillet with a splash of oil.

3. Add soy sauce, garlic, ground ginger (or fresh if you're fancy), and a dash of MSG.

4. Once chicken is cooked, slice it up and toss it into the pan with the veggies. Let everything mingle.

5. Serve over brown rice or one of those magical 90-second microwave packs from Aldi. Sprinkle sesame seeds if you want to feel like a chef on TikTok.

3. Steak Kebabs (so you feel fancy)

Effort Level: Pretend you're hosting a cookout

• Cheap steak, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, onions

• Olive oil + seasoning (Slap Ya Mama, teriyaki, whatever’s in your cabinet)

• Marinate it for an hour if you’re feeling ambitious, then bake or grill.

• Bonus points if you use the metal skewers like a fancy grown-up.

• Throw them in the oven at 400 for 25 mins

4. Taco Bowls of Joy

Effort Level: Assembly required

• Ground turkey + taco seasoning

• Butter lettuce, tomatoes, onions, shredded cheese, sour cream

• Throw it all in a bowl whenever you hungry girl.

• Store all the ingredients in separate containers so you can throw together lazy leftovers for the next few days without lifting a brain cell.

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Breakfasts I can eat every day (until I can’t)

I’m the kind of neurodivergent human who can eat the same breakfast for 30 days straight, then never again.

So here’s what’s currently in rotation:

• A lazy vanilla protein shake dumped into my London Fog Tea (Earl Grey tea with lavender syrup)

• Oatmeal with banana, peanut butter, and Splenda

• Two eggs sunny-side up with avocado on sourdough

• (bonus: feta and pickled onions if you’re extra)

If I need lunch ideas, I’ll eat:

• Premade salads I pretend I chopped myself

• Leftovers (duh)

• Snack plates with random fridge things (cheese, boiled eggs, girl dinner vibes)

• Turkey Bacon + pickle sandwiches… yeah, I know it sounds weird, but it slaps. Don’t judge me ‘til you’ve tried it.

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Real talk: Why eating this way is working for me

Look, I’m not trying to “shred for summer.” I’m trying to not feel awful inside my own body.

The big shift for me was:

• Not keeping junk food in the house

• Making enough food to last two days

• Making it so easy, I have no excuse not to do it

And when I do want a sweet treat? I have to leave the house for it.

Which means it becomes a moment, a walk with friends, a cute coffee shop date, a errand run. Not just a sad, mindless binge in my kitchen.

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PSA: You don’t have to go all in on a new “diet”

You don’t need to eat gluten-free, dairy-free, or low-carb unless your body actually needs that. You don’t need a fancy calorie tracking app or color-coded containers. You just need a plan that feels doable.

You will mess up. You will eat pizza. You will hate salmon eventually. That’s normal.

This isn’t about guilt. This is about energy. It’s about mood. It’s about feeling like yourself again when the world keeps trying to flatten you out.

You deserve to feel good at every stage of your health journey babe

I’m not eating this way because I hate my body.
I’m eating this way because I finally care enough to take care of it.

And guess what? Feeling better doesn't come from perfection—it comes from consistency that doesn’t feel like punishment.

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PS. Sorry there aren’t more pics, I’m too busy actually eating the food to stage a photoshoot like I’m on Top Chef: Depressed Edition.